It's all in the details!

As I have made my first stumbling steps as an amateur photographer (and I use the title ‘photographer’ only in the most literal sense – as someone who takes photographs, I am in no way a ‘photographer’ in the professional sense!) it has become very clear to me that I have developed a very clear preference and bias. Which kind of weirds me out as my brain seems to only function when I can believe in a utopian world where everything is equal. You see, I’ve very much developed a taste for details.

I do wonder to what extent this has been influenced by some wonderful photographers whose work I admire, respect and hope to one day aspire to. They too are drawn to details, and not necessarily in the macro sense but rather the way the light plays on something, the texture of something, contrasts and juxtapositions that are interesting and eye catching, moments in time that are special, seeing into someone’s soul when you look into their eyes, their face and posture radiating who they are and how they feel. These kinds of details draw my eye like nothing else. But then I think perhaps I am drawn to the work of these photographers because they see things the way I do (but are much better at capturing it!). Perhaps it’s a little of column A and column B.

I also have a sneaking suspicion that it is in part due to my borderline OCD when it comes to getting the details right. I’ve never been very good at ‘that will do’, every little bit has to be perfect, whether it be cooking dinner or planning my wedding. (Which turned out to be a headache for the wedding planning). But I know that this is just the way my mind works – it worries about the little details, it looks out for the little things. So when I see some beautiful light or textures I’m drawn to it and want to capture it and convey it.

Despite acknowledging that this is the way my brain works, I am still jealous of those who work differently and can see and capture things in a way that I can’t. (Because of course I’m a perfectionist and I want to be able to do everything perfectly). For instance my brother takes amazing landscape photos. He has the patience to wait for the right light, to search out the right composition, to set up all the gear and capture the whole vista in one fell swoop. When we went out shooting together last year he took stunning photos of sunset skies and mountains and fields. I took photos of the leaves on the railway track. His photos turned out infinitely more breathtaking and had that ‘wow’ factor. I admit I was jealous. But as hard as I try I just can’t get landscape shots right. They end up looking dull and flat. Even when I get the composition ok, nothing else seems to work. They’re ok. Passable. Competent. But way under par. Sigh!

It’s hard to accept that this is the way I work and to let go of being sucky at other types of photography. I know I could improve with some lessons and a ton of practice, but why fight nature. My brain likes details. It likes the way light can play such an important role on something small. It likes trying to bring texture alive. It likes shallow depth of field. And so the way I photograph reflects this. When I see frost on a cabbage, I want to capture it. When I see a small patch of bright green moss on a bare brown branch, I want to capture it. When I see golden rays of light playing in the bushes, I want to capture it. When I see something that has an amazing texture, I want to capture it. I want to convey what I see and how I see it to others. I guess this is the essence of why we take photos beyond the happy snaps at birthdays. And accepting that I see things a certain way is a big part of that, and holds the tantalising promise of feeling liberated and at peace.