some early thoughts

so here i am midway through day 4 and already i'm noticing the changes. i'm eating less and much better, though still going to bed a bit hungry each day. i'm also consciously working out more and harder in an effort to reach the goal of ~500 calories per workout. the diet has been a bit of a challenge but after my initial panic i approached it in a more flexible and creative way and now i'm feeling very positive about the meals, but it took me 2 days to go through that process, and i know it will be the same again next week. hopefully after a few weeks i'll have it down pat and be able to sort through it all and make appropriate changes quickly and easily without having to double check calories and nutrient content etc! with the workouts the biggest change has been in how i feel afterwards. i know i'm pushing myself just that little bit extra now because my muscles are starting to fatigue, i'm exhausted at the end of the day, and completely lathered in sweat at the end of each workout. though i suppose it doesn't help that it's so warm this week - 36 degrees means double the sweat! but by far the biggest change has been my mindset. not so much the 'i'm awesome' kind of change - though hopefully that will come, and stay - but more of the 'this is doable and i can't believe so many people lead such unhealthy lives' kind of mindset. i've had that feeling on and off for a few years now, ever since i started living a much healthier life while trying to lose weight for the wedding, but it's come back with a vengeance. well, they say there are none so enthusiastic as the newly converted! in focusing in a more determined and structured way on my own health, i have noticed with alarm the unhealthy choices of the people around me. even just going through the process of identifying my excuses, means that i now see them everywhere in other people. loads of 'it's too hard' and 'i don't have time' or 'i'm too sick' or 'the kids make it hard' etc. and especially when it comes to food, it's amazing how good we are at convincing ourselves that unhealthy food is ok, with the old 'one bit won't hurt' and 'sugar makes me feel better' and one of my old favourites, 'i NEED chocolate/cake/insert dish of choice here'. my immediate reaction when i see or hear this is a palpable urge to tell them no, you don't NEED chocolate, chips don't make everything better, and it's not too hard and you're not too busy. but then i stop myself. who the hell am i to judge these people?!?!?! i don't walk in their shoes. and the whole reason i'm doing 12wbt in the first place is because i needed to relearn some good habits and get back on the straight and narrow. and so i'm left in a quandary. i want my loved ones to be healthy, to be active and live life to the full. i don't want them to feel they can't, i want them to KNOW they CAN! but i'm not yet in a position to offer much help, after all someone has to want to change, noone else can do it for them. hm. already my journey about 'ME' has extended to other people. how very me.